The Electric Boogaloo Experience

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 04:06:56 GMT

I don't open up unless I'm drinking.

Probably not a good sign.

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 20:16:19 GMT

I just downloaded the entire Metallica show at America West Arena in March of '04...Badass.

I miss Jason Newsted's back-up vocals.

Qu'est-ce que c'est?

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 03:46:06 GMT

I was in an apartment today that can only be described as being inhabitated by a serial killer.

A manager at another property wanted me to come over and help her with an eviction (changing the locks when the Sheriff's department was there). Going in this apartment is indescribable. I really can't do it any justice. I'll do my best to describe it until I go back tomorrow and take pictures:

Scattered throughout the entire apartment were mirrors. This tenant had taken literally hundreds of tiny mirrors and glued them everywhere in the apartment. Everywhere. The ceilings, the walls, the floor, the water heater, the toilet, the bathtub, his television. Everywhere. There were also patches of carpet glued to the ceiling. Hanging all throughout the entire apartment were dreamcatchers and windchimes. I'd estimate there were at least 20. Keep in mind this is a 1 bedroom apartment. There were numerous notebooks with titles like "Dreams with Dracula"...Inside were babblings about vampires and as you went through them, it just turned to scribblings. Completely indecipherable. On the walls were huge murals of cut-outs of people from magazines like "Us weekly" and "People"...Some of the murals contained nothing but pornographic material...Scattered throughout these images were pictures of Prince and David Bowie. In the closet were containers that were tightly wrapped with shrink wrap and tinfoil...They were heavy, and the sheriff's department had to call in to see if anyone had ever seen bombs that were fashioned in a similar manner. After the police left, I opened one (with great difficulty) and the boxes contained what appeared to be shit.

I'm doing my best to describe the sheer craziness of that apartment, but unfortunately, I'm not doing it any justice. I'll take pictures tomorrow.

Mon, 26 May 2008 21:08:55 GMT

I woke up to a jet flying over my apartment complex at low altitude...In my half-asleep state I really thought that it was going to drop a bomb, annihilating everything in my general area. And for a brief second, I got really excited.

Weird.

Wed, 14 May 2008 03:14:48 GMT

"Don't mess with the Zohan" looks so bad that it actually pisses me off. I haven't seen a trailer that looks so un-funny that it infuriates me in a long time...I mean besides "The Love Guru".

Tue, 06 May 2008 00:10:00 GMT

The Fantastic 4 sequel is just awful. The first one was bad, but this one is even worse. There isn't a single decent actor in this whole shit-fest.

Ow! My back!

Thu, 01 May 2008 04:52:46 GMT

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 01:26:19 GMT

Man, I miss the fuck out of Arizona.

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 02:31:33 GMT

I haven't smoked in 4 days, and I think I'm going to kill someone.

Oh no!

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:41:42 GMT

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 01:14:59 GMT

I'm so fucking excited. I just found out that I could use my video productions skills for the company that I work for...And if I do a good enough job, I can make bank. Fuck yes. No longer will my finesse for all things video related go to waste; and I can move up in this company quick.

Basically, I'm a leasing agent/assistant manager for an apartment complex for Princeton Property Management; the biggest property management company in Portland. Now, I stumbled on the idea of posting video tours of apartments when I was surfing Craigslist. I can upload videos on youtube, post the link on craigslist, it literally costs me nothing, and I can potentially double the amount of foot traffic that comes into the office. Hell yeah.

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:19:43 GMT

Is there anything better than watching the Metallica S&M DVD on a 60 inch television?

The answer is no.

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 23:02:15 GMT

There is nothing more disgusting than someone who picks their nose in public. That's fucking gross. I understand that everyone does it, but do that shit in private, not right in front of me, you nasty motherfucker. And eating it? What are you? 8 years old?! WTF?! It makes me want to puke just thinking about it. My boss is so fucking gross. If it was up to me, it would be legal to get punched in the face for picking your nose in public.

I believe in Harvey Dent.

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 02:03:34 GMT

I just got a phone call from the future Gotham City District Attorney, Harvey Dent.

http://www.ibelieveinharveydent.com/

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:00:51 GMT

I love it when people act like stereotypes. Especially gay men; it makes me laugh.

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 05:45:53 GMT

1. cunt punt
verb:
the swift act of kicking a female in the crotch with enough force that the foot actually gets lodged in the cunt.

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 06:04:53 GMT

I keep trying to post the comment "LOL@Nonsmokers" on the Whuddafuxup/truth.com's Myspace page, but those self-righteous assholes won't approve my comment. They can criticize my habit and the company that supports my delicious addiction, but they can't take any?...Pussies.

WTF?

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 03:19:13 GMT

Is this real? If it is, this is an extremely gross mismanagement of tax payers' funds:

http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/02/nations-spies-w.html

And I love the opening line: "Having eliminated all terrorism in the real world"...

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 22:28:43 GMT

Goddamnit Jack Nicholson is such a great actor.

There is no God.

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 20:09:50 GMT

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:15:54 GMT

The Indiana Jones IV Teaser FINALLY dropped today. I've been waiting for this for about 10 years now. Check that shit out here:

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/indianajones.html

"You're a teacher?"
"Part time."

Fuck yeah.

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 23:43:41 GMT

I think Scientology is more dangerous than people seem to realize.

Tom Cruise is a fucking lunatic.

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 03:32:51 GMT

Hello, rib cage. Nice to see you again.

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 06:50:54 GMT

I don't think there's anything more offensive/annoying to me than someone who is patronizing.

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 05:14:51 GMT

Goddamnit, I keep trying to post a bulletin regarding "www.2girls1cup.com", but Myspace won't allow me to post a bulletin at all with that website in it. Now, it did let me post a bulletin linking "www.2girls1finger.com", but instead of linking to the website, it just linked back to Myspace.com. FUCKING MYSPACE